I have 2 dogs, both rescues.
One of them is a German Shepherd mix, aka Baer, who had been tethered to a pole
in a person’s yard with very little freedom of movement, for the first couple
of years of his life. No big surprise, then, that once I adopted him, his great
joy was to run around my yard with energy and gusto. He still does that, now at
13, but his legs don’t always cooperate. From time to time, Baer pulls a muscle
and then hops around on 3 legs for a bit as he recovers.
Observing him, keeping a
close watch to make sure nothing else is going on with him that would require
vet care, I can’t help but notice that Baer never complains. He doesn’t bark in
complaint at the rock that tripped him or at his doggie-brother who probably
ran into him. He doesn’t whine, whimper, or otherwise express his displeasure
at the current state of affairs. Baer simply adjusts his behavior to his current
situation. He sleeps more, doesn’t run around quite as much, and only ups his
activity level as his muscles heal.
Wish we were more like Baer! No
matter what’s going on, complaining about it, blaming others or the state of
the economy, the world, or the political situation of the day, isn’t going to
solve/remedy our dilemma. It may feel better to blame and complain, certainly,
but it doesn’t do any good. If anything, it keeps us focused on the negative,
on the doom-and-gloom or 'poor-me' aspect, which hinders our ability to
problem-solve creatively.
Successful people don’t do
that. They have what’s called an “internal locus of control,” meaning that they
believe they are in charge of what happens in their lives, and respond
accordingly. Does that mean they – or we – are in charge of everything that
happens in their lives? No! Of course, stuff happens that is outside of our
control; however, we always have control over how we react to events and
situations. It’s what separates those who are successful most of the time from
those who are not, most of the time.
How do you plug into that
“internal locus of control”? That willingness to react in a non-complaining, forward-looking,
productive way to events and situations? Start with a 5-second recharge. Say
what? Yes. First, take a deep breath (or 2 or 3, as needed), sit/stand up
straight, think of something you are grateful for – it can be something as
basic as “the sun came up” or “the earth is still turning on its axis”, it
doesn’t matter what – and let that prime your pump for thinking of constructive
ways to deal with your situation.
“I can do this” is always a
good follow-up to repeat to yourself as you tackle whatever it is. And yes, you
can.